Back on track, boys!

Well, what's he look like?


E-mail me

Click the Weather Boy below to get relatively current NYC weather The WeatherPixie
Goings on:
Summer School Ending
Vacation looming near!

On the Walkman:
Bargrooves - Frosted
Sarah McLachlan...all CDs in High rotation

Today's activities:
Starting back at the gym
Enjoying summer

This weekend's activities:
Seeing my beau
Hanging out then flying to NH for a brief vacation

Favorite English Words:

Favorite German Words:

Check these guys: USA
My Holiday Film Exchange Exchangee
The Film Exchange Project
The Film Exchange
Canada Maurice
Uncle Hedgehog

Great Sites:
The Onion
HX New York
Useful Sites:
1 800 flowers
Crate & Barrel

blogchalk: Michael/Male/36-40. Lives in United States/New York/Hell

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Carpe Mañana
Monday, December 30, 2002
I have changed the name of my blog. I am trying to be optimistic about my move and upcoming new life and adventures. I will do my best to sieze tomorrow...hence "Carpe Manana". To bad I don't have the ~ over my n. Oh well.


Thursday, December 26, 2002
This is an open invitation to anyone who is feeling generous. If you have a couple of hours over the weekend and would like to come by and help me pack up my belongings, I would gladly accept the help. Even if you just direct and keep me focused. The movers will be coming on Sunday to move me so there is no heavy lifting...just packing of boxes and bringing trash downstairs. I will provide the refreshments!


Wednesday, December 25, 2002
I am an army of one when it comes to defending the separate pronunciations of Merry, Mary and marry. In my vernacular, they are pronounced very differently...some say it is me it is quite distinct. They are (as best as I can do here):
Merry - meh-ree
Mary - Mair-ree
marry - mah-ree

To all those people to pronounce Merry Christmas like Mary Christmas...I just want to let you know you drive me crazy everytime you open your mouths and say it...but I wish you a Merry Christmas anyway. Maybe we should all just switch to the English expression, "Happy Christmas".


I am an army of one when it comes to defending the separate pronunciations of Merry, Mary and marry. In my vernacular, they are pronounced very differently...some say it is me it is quite distinct. They are (as best as I can do here):
Merry - meh-ree
Mary - Mair-ree
marry - mah-ree

To all those people to pronounce Merry Christmas like Mary Christmas...I just want to let you know you drive me crazy everytime you open your mouths and say it...but I wish you a Merry Christmas anyway. Maybe we should all just switch to the English expression, "Happy Christmas".


Tuesday, December 17, 2002
It's very "Green Acres"

I am moving from here...

To the middle of nowhere...



The new Star Trek Movie - Nemesis? Wait for the rental.

Packing up your life is such a pain in the ass. Do you know how much shit you accumulate in 5 years in the same apartment? Tons! I have more useless shit. The real problem is dragging it all down the stairs to the curb to throw out!

I'm looking forward to summer.


Friday, December 13, 2002
Well, it's Friday. And me with a pounding headache.

Usually Friday's are good days for me, I look forward to the weekends. This Friday is different. It's the last normal Friday for my life in New York. This weekend I won't be simply going for drinks, hanging with friends, going to the movies or stuff like that. No, I will be sorting all of my belongings, throwing some away and putting the rest into cardboard boxes to go into storage for an undetermined amount of time. I can't really explain how I feel. Sorrow is part of it, panic is another, relief, excitement, fear, trepidation, is just a mishmash of emotions. I don't want to leave my friends. I don't want to leave New York. On the other hand, I feel that if I am going to grow, I need to set off on a new adventure. I was dreading leaving until I was talking to my friend Paul and telling him what my plans were. He looked at me and said, "Michael, that is so exciting! What a great opportunity you have right now." In a way, I am excited. I feel like I am in a rut. I haven't been able to get on top of things here in New York like I was in Boston. Money alludes me here. Opportunities don't seem as apparent. I had intended to have my master's degree by now and I don't so I need to refocus on my goals. I think shaking things up a little is the way to do it.

So what is the plan? I am putting all of my stuff into storage. I am going to visit with my family for a few months and hopefully get a temp job for the rest of the winter. I'll probably stay with my folks for a month and with my brother for a couple of months. While I am up there I am going to take my entrance exams for grad school (either GMAT or GRE, depends what I finally decide to persue). Then I am going to go to Rehoboth for the summer and work there until school starts. Why the hell not. I have always wanted to spend a summer in a beach community. I deserve it. Also, I am going to save my pennies and buy myself a Jeep Liberty and maybe get a dog.

The drawback to all this? I'll be leaving behind...Nick, Alan, Billy, Ameet, John, Joe, Jon, Ellen, Paul, Denis, Darrel, Tony, Michael, Dan Q, Jake, Jay, Kevin, Samantha...those are just the close friends. There are hundreds of other friends and acquaintences that I see only occassionally like Kevin, Carmen, Brenda, Michael, Paul etc... I wonder if they will even notice that I am gone.


Wednesday, December 11, 2002
This is getting out of control. I read in passing this morning that the US is threatening to drop nuclear weapons on Iraq if they use chemical or biological weapons on us. Why is our government being such a bully? Is it only me that sees that the only reason Iraq would have to use those against us would be if we attacked them? I agree that Saddam Hussein is a threat but right now I think that the US is a bigger threat. We are acting like idiots...we are a loose cannon. It saddens me that after everything that happened on September 11th, our government would make such a blatant threat to civilians as stating that we are willing to drop a "weapon of mass destruction" on innocent people, including children! We are going to groom yet another generation of people that hate us and it will never end. Maybe the UN inspectors should come to the US and check out our weapons production facilities and stockpiles. THAT would be scary. I agree that we need to protect ourselves, but going to another into another country, aggressively, is not self defense. You know, all of our politicians talk about God and the Bible etc...but have they ever read it? Isn't there something about, "Thou shalt not kill"? As far as I know, there is no footnote that says, "Except in the following circumstance:" with a list of exceptions. It is crazy.


Monday, December 09, 2002
It's your turn to cry.
Spend your life
wondering why

I love these lyrics because I always wonder (when she trails off on the "you's") what it is that will be wondered about. What did this person do?

So, little is probably easy but what is the title of this song and what album is it from? Bonus points...who is the vocalist?

Email your responses to me...the winner gets a beer on me at the New York bar of his or her choice.


Thursday, December 05, 2002
I'm sure that nose hair serves some useful purpose. I don't know what it is, but there must be a reason that it is there. What I don't truly understand is why my nostrils did not realize until I reached my mid-thirties that they needed hair spilling out of my nose to stand guard and perform this obviously very important task (based on the number of hairs needed to do it). In my teens and twenties, nose hair was foreign to me. I had none. Then suddenly at about 33 or 34 I could feel a tickle in my nose when the breeze would blow. The ritual of trimming it is now an almost daily task. I feel like an old man with all this nose hair... to make matters worse, some of it is now turning grey! Insult to injury.

I once dated a guy who told me that he couldn't even think of dating someone who didn't maintain their nose hair properly...when we broke up I wondered about my trimming skills for weeks.

I wonder if there is a process to have it removed for good. I'll have to look into it.


Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes...
Elementary blogging.

It is snowing.
It is very pretty snow.
It is coming down fairly hard.
It is, yes, it is snowing heavily.
It is accumulating.
It is driving my co-workers crazy that every 15 minutes I shout out, "Hey, it's snowing!"
It is fun.


Wednesday, December 04, 2002
I just realized...IF I move...(I'm having panic attacks thinking about it) I will have to rename my blog since I will no longer be living in New York, nor will I be in a walk-up apartment. SO...I'm thinking that I should have a contest to rename it (not that I have a plethora of readers). Hold your horses for now, my final decision will be made by tomorrow and then there is no looking back. Until I notify my landlord, I still retain the right to change my mind and stay here. I'm pretty flighty, aren't I?


Tuesday, December 03, 2002
I didn't know what to write for World AIDS Day, so I let it pass. I have feelings, opinions, fears, and hopes surrounding the AIDS epidemic but I just didn't have anything to say...until today.

This morning I went to the clinic in Chelsea for a few reasons I don't need to go into here. I go there because A.) It is gay friendly and B.) They have a sliding scale for service based on ability to pay. Since I am making no money right now and have no health insurance, I go there for my health care needs. While I was waiting for my turn to get some blood work done, the woman who does the HIV counseling came around the corner with a guy about my age. I know that is what she does because she is the person that counseled me the last time I had an HIV test. She held a stack of papers in her had that were requisitions for lab tests. He followed closely behind her. The look on his face was of pure shock. It was that look that people have when they haven't quite come to grips with something yet. It was the look that everyone around me had when the first tower of the Trade Center collapsed...that "What just happened?" look. I knew what had just happened. He had just found out that he tested positive. She asked him to sit, told him that the Phlebotomist would be right with him, and squeezed his hand. She said, "Call me if you need anything." He looked at her and said, "Okay. Thanks." Then he sat down. She put his stack of papers in the bin with all the others waiting to be collected. He was being ushered into the process...I assume they would give him tests to find out how far along his disease is and then he would have to keep coming for follow ups. He was sitting about two seats away from me, leaning forward, limply holding a piece of paper and staring blankly at the floor. I felt my heart sink. He looks like any attractive man in the prime of his life. It isn't fair that this is happening to people like him, people like me, people like us, our friends, our lovers, our teachers, doctors, nephews, nieces, our neighbors, everybody. I so wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I held my tongue because I felt it really wasn't my place. So, I guess I have something to say now. I have a close friend who went through this recently and it has really upset me. It is still happening to people. It could happen to me and for all I know until my next test, it could have already. So, with the look on that man's face burned into my mind, I am changing my philandering ways. It is going to be hard to do, but I am committed. I always protect myself, but I can't be sure that that is good enough and I never want to have that look on my face. We all have to commit to stopping AIDS now, however we can. If you are a doctor, do research. If you aren't, volunteer or write to your congressman or simply use a condom each and every time you have sex.

I know that people get mad when I say this but...if you are already infected, it is up to you to try to stop the spread of the disease. Act responsibly.

If you aren't infected, assume that everyone you sleep with is and don't do anything that endangers your health. There is still no cure. People still die from this. It will not go away by itself.


As I contemplate my move from NYC at the end of this month, I've been thinking a lot about the journey that I have been on since I moved here and the process that turned me from a non-New Yorker into a New Yorker...because at this point in my life I do consider myself to be a New Yorker albeit a transplant. I think I earned rights to that title much before 9/11 but that day clinched it for me. If you were here, and you experienced that day in this city, you get your "New Yorker" badge. So what does it mean to me to be a New Yorker?

It means:
- Having everything imaginable (good and bad) at your fingertips and available just about 24 hours a day.
- Knowing exactly where you are heading when you exit a subway station and not being disoriented about which way you are facing.
- Having some really bizarre experiences on a daily basis and not blinking an eye.
- Making no qualms about standing up for yourself in just about any situation...some people see this as pushy or rude, I see it as self-assertive and self-confident.
- Knowing just how hot the city can be on a July day and knowing just how cold it can be on a January night but not really worrying about it because you can always catch a cab.
- Truly understanding how expensive it is to live here. It comes at you from every angle, every day.
- Thinking 350 square feet is a good-sized living space.
- You have a favorite restaurant that delivers until midnight, gets the food to your apartment door within minutes of hanging up the phone and they know you by name because you order from them 3 times a week but they wouldn't recognize you if you walked into the restaurant because you have never actually eaten in the restaurant itself.
- 9/11 is not an abstract event that the talking heads debate on TV.
- You get to live your life without the headaches of automobile ownership.
- I have friends that really care about me.
- Every day is a new adventure.


Monday, December 02, 2002
Who's your OZ bitch?

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I flew back to New York last night. I have to say that although flying makes me nervous, I do actually love it. I also love flying over New England. It was a perfectly clear night last night and so you could see for miles. When you take off from Boston on a clear night and then bank toward New York City, you can actually see Providence RI, Worcester MA, and Hartford CT all at the same time with the lights of New York off in the distance. It is amazing... As you fly, you see the southern coast of Connecticut and can see all the way over Long Island Sound to Long Island itself. It is like looking at a map. In my experience, flying over New England is unique in this country as well. The roads, highways, streets, etc. have a much more organic layout that becomes very apparent at night when everything is outlined with the bright dots of the street lights. It's like looking down at hundreds of nerve cells...all reaching out with tendrils toward each other. The streets curve and twist in no recognizable pattern. Even the highways are not straight. I think it looks like Europe from above. You can tell where the city centers are and how the streets just radiate outward from there. Since there are so many trees, the lights all seem to twinkle as you fly over. It is a very cool effect. It looks like stars in reverse.
I've flown over much of the United States, and from above a lot of it looks like a "Borg" cube. All the streets meet at right angles and everything is on a grid. It just looks so unnatural and it makes me wonder if this is good planning. In Manhattan it works well because Manhattan is the "city center" from which the rest of the streets radiate outward but when a grid is used outside of Manhattan it seems to be done at the expense of the city center. It makes for faster driving and theoretically less traffic but is that what it is really all about? I don't know...all I know is that it was a picture perfect flight last night. I got to look down at one of my favorite areas on earth and it looked like glittering jewels scattered across miles of black velvet.


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