Saturday, March 30, 2002
Things really move quickly sometimes...
I have been offered a place to stay in Boston whenever I want...it is a fantastic offer and could be a good thing so I am seriously considering it. I also have the chance of working for a friend of mine in Ogunquit Maine for the spring/summer/fall at his restaurant but that has not yet been set in stone. I guess what I will do is think about where I am going and make a decision in the next few days. I'll set my deadline as Tuesday. In the meantime, I am going to look into subletting my apartment until October. That might just be the solution. That way, rent is paid and I can still come back to New York in the fall. Hopefully with a better attitude and a job.
Friday, March 29, 2002
Okay...I think tonight helped me make my decision but for no particular reason. I'm going to try to leave NYC by the end of the week. I'm tired of it. I'm over it. I need a change and a chance to catch my breath. I'm not saying it will be forever but for right now, I need out.
So...If anyone has any (serious) suggestions of where I might want to think about moving to, drop me an e-mail and tell me why the place you think I should move is a good place to live. If you send a joke reason...well, I won't speak to you anymore. Seriously. I am thinking either somewhere in NJ or Portsmouth, NH. All reasonable suggestions will be considered.
Meine Ruhe ist hin. Mein Herz ist schwer. Ich finde sie nimmer und nimmer mehr.
That is one of my favorite lines from Faust written by Goethe. It is spoken by Gretchen when she is at her utmost of despair. It roughly translates to "(My) Peace is gone. My heart is heavy. I will never, ever find them again." This is how I feel right now about my life in New York. I have to face the fact that I can't continue living here. It is too expensive. It is going to kill me or at least cause me to be homeless. I have to say my heart is heavy because I have grown to love it here. I was just getting the hang of it. Then I lost my job. Reality has reared it's ugly head this month because for the first time since I was laid off, nearly 6 months now, I don't have enough money to pay rent on time. I need to be realistic. I can't stay here if I can't pay rent. In my mind it is as simple as that.
When I got laid off, I had plan A and plan B. Plan A was to keep my head above water and find a new job quickly. I did keep my head above water for 6 months. Unfortunately, I still need a job. So, I need to at least consider plan B. Leave New York and start over somewhere else...somewhere cheaper. Somewhere with a better job market. That starts this week. I'm going to talk to my landlord on Monday and see if I can work something out for a late payment, not sure he will be thrilled, but I need to try. Then...well...plan B.
Thursday, March 28, 2002 Can a grown man be kidnapped?
One minute I'm having lunch at Barrage, the next I'm being wisked to Northampton PA for a couple of days with the boys. Which boys? Michael and Bill of course. We met in January in Philadelphia at the Blue Ball and just sort of clicked. Great guys, great house, great friends. It was nice to get out of the city and be "unknown". They took me to a restaurant called the Appollo Grill in Bethlehem PA that was out of this world! I highly recommend it.
Just a few side notes. There is something called WebCam that I had never heard of...well now I have. (wink wink)
There are generous people in this world. Mike and Bill are living proof of that.
I'm beginning to feel that New York is not where I need to be anymore.
Saturday, March 23, 2002
You know how a guy can be. It's Friday night, you're home alone, no friends want to go out, you don't feel like going out by yourself. You decide to spend some quality time alone for a change. Brushing your teeth you look in the mirror and realize that you are actually pretty attractive, you admire your reflection for a while and one thing leads to another. Next thing you know you are looking directly at it...hard, rounded but slightly pointy, a little shiny...and you can't keep yourself from touching it, stroking it, realizing that it feels really good. It's kind of exciting, a real thrill. And then you say to yourself, "Why the hell did I just shave my head?!?!"
Sunday, March 17, 2002
Friday night my friend Billy and I decided to go bar hopping...literally. We hit about 13 places...they were, (in order):
Barrage, Posh, Cosmo, Hannah's Lava Lounge, Chase (when leaving we bumped into a glorious drag-queen on the street corner who was at least 7 feet tall wearing clear acrylic heels...when asked where she got the shoes she most incoherently, and somewhat tragically slurred... "6th Avenue Americas...where it Forth Street..." and pointed somewhere. I don't know either but it was the highlight of the night), Blu, walked by Twirl, View, Rawhide, Urge, Hole (where the boys were um...being boys in public with plenty of onlookers!), Boiler Room and the Bar. Billy then went home and I went to Cleo's Ninth Avenue Saloon...hadn't been there for a while. Tried to pull a cute 25 yo Medic named Garrett. He seemed to be ready to go home, alone. So home I went. I had to sign on to AOL and ended up participating in a fabulous threeway until 10:30 am...oh for shame! Hope it happens again! Needless to say, Saturday eve was an early night.
Life is confusing me again. I'm having some doubts that I will ever find a job. It's almost time to give up on the New York thing if I don't get something soon. I guess I'll just have to put my tail between my legs and head back to where I came from. Some people make it in New York, some people don't. I might be one of those who doesn't. I was always successful in Boston, and even though living there can be somewhat of a bore, my family lives up there and you can live much less expensively. I don't know...I just can't seem to fix what is broken here.
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
It's raining today. I wanted to go out and run errands but, alas, the deluge. It really is just a light rain but I don't really like to get wet. So, I'm sitting naked in front of my computer, ignoring the mess in my apartment that is screaming for me to clean it up, and searching the internet for a new career. I'm finding that I have no real skills. None that anyone needs right now anyway. I am not a techie...I am not a 7 year PR professional...I am not a Social Worker...or VP of Marketing...or Loan Officer...I am a loser. I have a very limited set of skills, I'm not happy. I would like to retrain to get into graphic art but there is that question of paying my current bills and coming up with tuition at the same time. Hmmmm....I guess I'll just go to the gym. That will make everything alright.
Sunday, March 03, 2002
I have a lot to blog about...maybe too much. So in short.
1. Had an interview on Thursday.
2. Got a job as a talent Scout on Friday.
3. Hated it by Saturday.
4. Had a house guest who spent the day basically alone and then sitting in my apartment waiting for me on Saturday while I worked.
5. Walked through Central Park all day today...nice and warm.
6. Dropped David at the bus to the airport tonight.
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